Maybe you don't know this, but I hate that I am emotional. Although all of you have seen me cry, for sure, I probably hated that I subjected you to that. I feel petty, ridiculous, and dramatic. The truth is though, that when I cry, I truly care about whatever it is that causes those blasted droplets... but it's not like I sit around and dwell on things and then finally let it all out in a good cry. It comes about suddenly. It's like I think to myself, "Oh my gosh. I really have a lot of feeling about this and I didn't realize!" It comes in an overwhelming sweep. I almost never cry around people that I don't know well. But as soon as I'm around people who know and love me, it's all over and I am a basket case. I hate this about myself.But you know what? Being emotional is not a weakness. This is something I have to remind myself frequently. It's not something that makes me less of a person or more of a woman (although, some may argue that) but just makes me human. We're all wired differently and this just happens to be my thing. I am a crier. Can't change it. Shouldn't have to. And I just have to be okay with that. Um, hello? Ever heard of the shortest verse in the Bible (John 11:35)?
I was reading a sermon online and the preacher, J.O. McCloud, said this, "I have come to believe that suffering and love come from the same place deep down in the soul. If we did not love, we would not suffer. We suffer and hurt and weep for our kids, our parents, our siblings, our friends, our community, our nation, because we care. We get homesick because we love home so much. We shed tears over some one's death because we loved her living so much. Jesus wept for us because Jesus loves."
Know that when I cry, it just means I love something very much.
